Tits and Balls

It’s a lazy way to cover the Minnesota State Fair, but I’m still recovering from our visit, and speechless. More themes probably forthcoming.

Cheese Curd Twins - We Fry Cheese to Please!

Navy Twins

Milk Twins - Farmers Feed Us!

French Fries Twins!

Elderly Twins - On a bench

*Editor’s Pick - Burnsville Marching Band Dating Twins

Shameless and unnecessary cute pic for the kids

In fashion, function usually follows form. But in the case of bedazzled waist sacs, form and function have a symbiotic relationship. As an object of both convince and visual stimulation, the sequined fanny pack is a rare breed. Both satchel and garment, it serves double purpose. While the zippered pouches that safely store one’s goods against the elements of a night out make it an essential colligate tool, its patterned sequined exterior pushes the pack into the realm of an decorative ornament. So in the world of theislandplace.com/fannypacks you can have your cake and eat it too.

Once the value of the pack is dissected, it really becomes no wonder why the flashy belted packs have gained recent popularity at Carleton College. Based on the traditional early eighties fashion this new pack that we see today has been molded and modified to adhere to modern fashion codes. Thus is the addition of bling. In the post Y2K world da bling is king, and today’s fashion forward packer knows it.

The leading artesian bedazzling emporium of Hawaii’s website: theislandpalace.com serves as a web based catalyst for bling craftsman to sell a cornucopia of different sequined wonders, such as flamed ornamented sexy bustiers and cummerbunds with musical scores.  Although fashionable, none of these other bedazzled products achieve the useful properties that the fanny pack possesses. The palaces fanny pack webpage are divided into subsections of bedazzled designs for the online shoppers convenience. The categories of designs include “a rainbow of solid colors, USA, music, mosaic ying yangs, and super cute animal fanny packs.” The packs thus appeal to all walks of life, as long as thoughts of America, rainbows, making music, ying yangs and cute animals leave you breathless.

The buffet of options within each of these categories is also quite remarkable. The beast forms feature everything from a panda to a crab and the “mosic ying yangs” incorporate a subtle cross blend zebra print into one of their yang fanny pack numbers. The “USA” category is not strictly star spangled, but has designs which also incorporate a patriotically a colorful music bar or animal print or two.

Once you get over the initial primal attraction to the fanny pack’s sequined design, you can notice the simple beauty of the packs construction as a storage utensil. It places valuables near the fanny, isolated them from both harm and/or misplacement. This feature also keeps the hands free from valuables and ready for holding other objects or gesturing such that one might compliment one’s verbal conversation with appropriate hand movements. Also, because of its plastic clip and its placement (one usually places ones pack around the waist), the FP can double as a functional belt when slipped though loops. Thus, although it is a fashionable garnish to any outfit, the bedazzled fanny-pack is also an invention of erotically charged convenience. And although most may say such a precious pouch for possessions must be priceless they are sold for only a meager $15 dollars. So really, the only question is: why aren’t you packin’?

You will need a t-shirt, scissors, and a needle and thread.

Step 1:

Lay the t-shirt flat on the table and cut about half an inch off the sides, also removing the sleeves. When you lay it out, you should have a long rectangle with the neck hole in the middle. Keep the sleeves and the two long strips that you’ve cut off, you’ll need these later.

Step 2:

Cut open one of the sleeves along the seam, which will leave you with a rectangle of fabric. Cut the biggest circle you can out of this fabric. It should be bigger than the neck hole. Next, sew this circle into the neck hole so that you have a pouch. This is where the package goes. Now your loincloth should look like this:

Step 3:

Tie the two long strips of fabric from the sides together, or if you’re feeling ambitious, sew them for a more professional look. This is the “belt.”

Step 4:

To wear, position the neck hole pouch under package so that it feels comfortable. Hold the ends of the rectangle up in the front and back and then tie the belt around your waist, letting the ends of the larger rectangle fall down to cover the front and rear. Adjust as needed.