Tits and Balls

I had the pleasure of castrating an alpaca with a pocket knife. I actually got to hold the castrated, purple (from the disinfectant) ball in my hand, much like Tyler is doing above. Quite the amazing experience.

On the Island there is a dead tree

Each time we float ‘neath it we see

Its bones in the light

Blue herons take flight

To survey the river’s great beauty.

Damnit, Balls, I entirely forgot the 2nd one.

Due to popular request, I will post my animal behavior narration.

It was a peaceful morning on Carleton’s campus everywhere except the area surrounding the Lyman Lakes.  This noise disturbance was solely due to the large gaggle of geese inhabiting the islands. My presence caused the jolly gaggle of geese to migrate towards the outskirts of the island, but after a couple minutes my company was forgotten. Soon one goose jumped in the lake, and shortly thereafter a whole bunch followed his lead. The swimming geese formed groups unhesitatingly; a close-knit group of ten, a more distant group of three, and one lone swimming goose. I wondered what characteristics helped shape the groups and if permanent cliques occurred among the gaggle. I also speculated whether familial or romantic relationships contributed to the formations. All the swimming geese were drinking, diving for food unsuccessfully, or just floating peacefully. Back on land a war commenced. As two geese quietly removed themselves from a larger group, a third goose decided to sneakily follow a few paces behind. Soon the third goose approached the pair, which caused the bigger goose of the pair to honk and chase the loner across the island. Feathers were flying everywhere, but no injuries occurred, and quickly the third goose learned to associate with a gentler bunch. I pondered about the motivation behind the random attacks exhibited by the gaggle. On the other side of the island three geese were sleeping lying down with their heads tucked into their back, while two geese were sleeping while standing on one leg, also with their heads tucked behind their back. I found it peculiar that geese in the same surroundings would choose different sleeping positions. It seemed that lying down would be more comfortable, but would offer less of an opportunity for quick escape. Perhaps, the largest geese of the clan were required to sleep standing up in order to protect the others. All, in all observing the geese added some much-needed entertainment to my morning and left me many things to contemplate throughout the day.

For many years now I have been drinking soy milk because I have had the following qualms with cow’s milk:

1. Drinking cow’s milk is unnatural. Milk is meant to offer enough fat and nutrients for a baby to grow. Once a baby is finished breast feeding, all those calories are completely unnecessary. Humans are the only species that insist on drinking milk past babyhood. Thus, it is a European mutation that allows humans to even break down lactose. Lactose intolerance in adulthood is actually the norm as evidenced by the vast majority of other cultures containing high percentages of lactose intolerant people.

2. The milk industry is harsh and cruel. Cows in corporate factories are forced to produce 10 times more the amount of milk than they would normally produce. This results in painful and infectious udders causing cows to be fed unnecessary antibiotics and growth hormones. The calves are kept in incredibly small cages until they are big enough to produce mass amounts of milk like their mothers.

3. The production of cow’s milk has very negative impacts on the environment. Just like meat, milk is an insufficient food source. Milk cows need to consume mass quantities of grain to produce small quantities of milk. World hunger could be less of an if issue, if so much grain was not grown to feed to animals. Additionally, one dairy cow produces 120 pounds of waste a day, all of which ends up polluting our water. This amount of waste is equal to that of two dozen people, yet there are no sewers or treatment plants involved.

4. Cow’s milk can be problematic due to nutritional reasons. If the consumer is not discriminating, milk may contain dangerous pesticides, hormones, and antibiotics. Also, milk consumption is a contributor to the obesity problem that is quickly spreading across the nation. Although calcium is necessary, the high protein content of milk can cause calcium to be secreted out of the body through urine. Better sources of calcium include: sesame seeds, tofu, soy beans, white beans, flax seeds, almonds, kidney beans, and many more foods.

These are all of the reasons why I have been drinking soy milk. But, recently I became disheartened when I read that a lot of the damage to the rain forest is done by soy bean growers. Although the importance of saving the rain forest is another topic for another time, this one reason alone is a huge reason why not to buy soy milk. I suppose another negative is the high prices, but the price differences can often be negligible, especially when bargain shopping correctly. In conclusion, there really is not much of a conclusion. In all truthfulness, I have yet to decide which is the lesser of two evils, but at least now you have all the facts to decide for yourself. Perhaps it would be best to not drink milk at all, but that is a big sacrifice to make, especially when there is chocolate and cereal involved.

It is a hot day in town — the heat index is 152 in the sun (literally). Balls and Captain J miscommunicate via lack of telephone and finally find the river and the raft in the same place. One drops the lighter in a pool of water, the other gasps. One calls ashore, “Ahoy, have ye men a light?” They have a light. They offer us their crayfish. We lie to get away. Our poetry tells our story, while the Great Blue Heron watches over us all…

We beached on the shore.

“Nice cig there, little lady”

“It’s hand-rolled,” I said

.

“You want some crayfish?”

“Nope, I’m vegetarian”

Slowly sailed away

.

Dragonflies in love

Their bodies bound together

But it will not last

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Dragonflies mating

The male sticks his blue penis

In the female’s head