About Tits & Balls
Tits
Tits is a Connecticut native who spent her formative years developing into a complex and beautiful masterpiece of humanity. Tits never developed a love for bagels, instead bagels developed a love for her. Thus, the first time Tits tried to make bagels, it was a royal success. She began Tits’ Bagels as a college side project, but it’ll soon morph into a bigger and better endeavor: Sugerman’s bagels. Stay tuned.
Balls
PROLOGUE:
Balls, the ballsiest balls of them alls.
An entire BALLad writ in meat pie juice would not contain enough calories to express my hunger for you.
You are the apple of my eye.
You are the pineapple of my heart.
________________________________
I once knew a girl named Balls,
She tended to take many falls.
When she fucked up her elbow,
She cried and she bellowed,
“Are we really in for the long hauls?!”
.
It turned out that indeed we were,
And where the journey went was unsure.
But we got on them bikes,
Passing gorges and dykes,
But there was more trouble to endure.
.
One of Balls’ weirder points
Is that she really hates her joints.
She soon broke her knees
And was in a tight squeeze,
Never forgetting to apply elbow oints.
.
As she rode through the land with Kristina,
Balls became meana’ and meana’.
A shithead she became,
A shithead she remains,
What a grump, you really shoulda seena’.
.
Now she is broken and lame.
But she will see the world through a new frame.
Cruising through hills
Taught her lessons and thrills,
And improper use of the nose game.
.
It’s all of her great qualities
That make Sarah Ball the bees’ knees.
Had you a map and a chart,
You’d find her place in my heart,
But I still might give her up for cheese.
.