Contributors
Thanny
Thanny was born and raised in rural Wisconsin. He spent his childhood removed from civilization, raising chickens, foraging and hunting for sustenance. One day, however, he discovered the pleasures of the intellectual life and enrolled in a college in Minnesota, where he stays busy reading up on mathematics and related subjects. When he is not in the library studying math, the pure science, he keeps busy by sitting alone in his room with the lights off, watching porn. After graduation, Thanny hopes to bring light to the world with the knowledge he has gained, the kinds he has gathered not just in secluded library study rooms, but in secluded dark dormitory rooms as well.
Nakas
Born and raised on the steamy shores of Honolulu, Hawaii, Nakas spent her formative years frolicking naked on the beach. When not engaging in torrid rendezvous, she frequented sewing camps, attended weekly meetings of the National Latin Honor Society, and is fondly remembered as one of the most passionate and inspiring presidents the Okinawan Club has ever had. All of this clearly qualifies Nakas to be one of our most prolific and audience-admired contributors, and we at titsandball.org appreciate her great work.
Captain J
As tall as a cornstalk in July, Captain J grew up among the cornstalk people of Des Moines. The depth of her haiku-writing abilities reflect the depths of the deepest of Minnesota’s 10,000 Sparkling Lakes. Hobbies include rafting down the Cannon River as captain of various ships in the town’s armada.
In the post office
We will read your mom’s post cards
Fuckin’ funny shit
Tiamat Destroyer of Worlds
They banded themselves together and at the side of Tiamat they advanced;
They were furious; they devised mischief without resting night and day.
They prepared for battle, fuming and raging;
They joined their forces and made war,
Tiamat who formed all things,
Made in addition weapons invincible; she spawned monster-serpents,
Sharp of tooth, and merciless of fang;
With poison, instead of blood, she filled their bodies.
Fierce monster-vipers she clothed with terror,
With splendor she decked them, she made them of lofty stature.
Whoever beheld them, terror overcame him,
Their bodies reared up and none could withstand their attack.
She set up vipers and dragons, and the monster Lahamu,
And hurricanes, and raging hounds, and scorpion-men,
And mighty tempests, and fish-men, and rams;
They bore cruel weapons, without fear of the fight.
Her commands were mighty, none could resist them;
After this fashion, huge of stature, she made eleven [kinds of] monsters. (from the sacred tablets of the Enuma Elish)
Princess K of the Toasted Rye
Princessan K av det Gruva Rostat Bröd va född i 1988 till den svenska kungen och drottningen i derast finaste hus i Stockholm. Men! Hon blev utbyten till en amerikansk pappa och svensk mamma och nu bor på östkusten i USA. Hon saknar sitt kronprincessans liv hon lämnade i Sverige. Nu tycker hon om att dansa och läsa böcker, specielt Anne på Grönkulla. Och att krigas med björnar.
Wadler
Princess K of the Mine Toasted Bread was born in 1988 to Swedish king and queen of derast finest house in Stockholm. But! She became a U.S. exchange to the father and Swedish mother and now living on the East Coast of the United States. She misses his crown prince sans life she left in Sweden. Now she thinks that dance and read books; especially Anne of Green Gables. And that war with bears.
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